2 Months… The Longest I Have Been Out of the Country

I really wish there was a way to convey the emotions that one goes through in the process of Peace Corps Training.  Unfortunately for the reader, words do not do it justice. But I´ll try

First, you leave everyone you know behind.  Then you meet a bunch of new people and try to get to know them.  Then 4 days later, you leave them and get to know the 3 or 4 white people in your training group really well and the people in your sector kind of well.  You also spend a lot of time with your host family and bond with them over things you have in common (usually the trainee aka me embarrassing myself, sometimes on purpose, usually not).  Then you leave your family and fellow training group and move closer to some other white people but still pretty far away from them AND away from your host family who
have put up with your obnoxious homework assignments (like asking them very
personal questions) and you fumbling with their native tongue.  The whole time you feel like you are taking advantage of them because they are helping teach you a second language AND feeding you AND teaching you about their country while you are just going to take off in 3 months anyways.  Also, between all of the training projects that you have to do, you really don’t have any time to return any of the nice gestures your host family does for you on a daily basis, let alone make it out to a cyber to send emails to the people you
can’t stop thinking about back home (I miss you guys even if I haven’t returned your emails yet!) because after dark is too dangerous to go out to the city and the sun sets promptly at 6:00 pm everday, conveniently when your responsibilities end.

Let’s just say me and training have our days:

There are days like today when I go to the garden and everything is growing
really well and the group of kids at the school went to the garden without you
and cleaned and planted more stuff.
Also, on days like today, a ton of kids show up to the youth group
meeting and the new kids have a ton to contribute and we make a lot of
decisions regarding the product they want to market.  On days like today I feel like I am actually making a difference because people are taking a project that I may have started
or a group that I may have brought together and are taking it away from me
making it theirs not mine.  On these days I’m really hopefull that this group will take this product and sell the shit out of it and make a ton of money. Also on days like today, my Spanish feels really good and I use new words correctly and feel like a badass who can speak two languages.

Then there are days like a couple of days ago when everything seems wrong.  You think about the garden and how futile it is to plant 5 rows of corn and some other shit and how it was just for practice anyways.  You also think about the youth group and how dirty you feel for using them for practice during training and how you are really just going to peace out after 3 months when they will probably need you the most.  You feel bad when people ask you to teach them english and you have to politely refuse because “that’s not what we’re
here for” and we don’t have enough time anyways because we’re too busy learning their language to return the favor.  On days like a couple days ago you finally got a chance to to check your messages for the first time in over 2 weeks only to realize that your computer
or the internet didn’t work or both.  Also on those days you can’t speak Spanish for shit and you get frustrated because you studied it in college and have been living in it for 2
months and you still can’t tell a simple ass story.  Also you feel like garbage because you just found out that you contracted an amoeba who is stealing your food and giving
you diarrhea so you have to evict him with powerfull drugs that don’t make you
feel good either (by the way, I named him Osmosis Jones after my favorite Chris
Rock movie).

But at the end of the day all I can do is write this page about how I have good days and bad days just like in the U.S. except I am in Nicaragua in a job that I love with super great people and I get to go to the beach this weekend.  By the time you have read this I will have gotten internet again and all will be right with the world.

Landmarks ahead:

               July 3 – My mom´s birthday (Happy Birthday Mom!!! Ill try to call you)

July 4 – US Independence Day AND Site Placement Day (when I find out where I   will be living!)

July 11 – Site Visit

July 28 – Swearing In

Music I am listening to as I write this:

The Decemberists (mostly the Picaresque album songs 8 and 9)

+44

Don Omar – DanzaKuduro

Right Side of the Tree – Spring Break Anthem (thank you random)